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      當前位置:世紀高教 > 集團概況 > 集團公告 > 天貓活動天貓活動

      #僅需一本最后預測5套題即可享受最后一個月的免費修改作文服務# 世紀高教圖書專營店

      發布時間:2015-11-19 10:00:00  作者:世紀高教   點擊:0











      In the above picture, one man is crossing a narrow bridge, namely seeking employment , who opens his arms to keep balance[with his arms open to keep balance(原定語從句距被修飾詞one man過遠)]. While the other, carries[carrying] a heavy basket filled with books , chooses to climbing[climb] the postgraduate entrance exam mountain[the mountain which represents the postgraduate entrance exam],with a rope in his hand. This drawing depicts a thought-provoking phenomenon. University graduates, [are(原句缺少謂語,切記句子結構要完整)]now with greater employment pressure and in face of a steeper social ladder.
      Seemingly, the picture is aimed to warn us that students are under fierce competition and huge pressure though[換成but或置于句尾chosen life之后,并用逗號隔開], they should follow their interest and advance bravely along with their chosen life. However, a lot of graduates think poorly of themselves and despairs [despair]of being a qualified successor of the socialism[“合格的社會主義接班人”這樣的表述太中國特色了。。。建議換成“achieving success in the society或realizing their dreams”這樣較為輕松的表述。]. Understandably, University graduates, now without the glory of the intellectual elites, are facing an uncertain future and be[刪除,worried與facing功用謂語are] worried about facing[tackling(避免facing的重復使用)] all kinds of challenges. In fact, the opportunity and challenge can coexist.
      Numerous examples can demonstrate it. For instance, despite[despite of(despite后接從句)] the fierce competition, students believing in themselves often excel in the postgraduate entrance exam. Another example is about Yuan zi wen, a[an] undergraduate of the Beijing University, who sell[sells] facial masks in the taobao.com[建議稍作解釋(e-commerce platform of Taobao)], because of the good service and excellent occupation[operation], he has gained a big profit and has his own company. Therefore, students should follow their heart, choose careers they are interested in and then achieve it with diligence.[點贊,寫的很好]

      評分:13分/20 (詞匯量很豐富,邏輯也很清晰。語法還有進一步提高的空間,避免低級錯誤)



      Dear Mr. President,
      I am an undergraduate student majoring in automation of our university. I am writing this letter to propose how to improve students' physical condition.
      First,exercise ,such as playing basketball,swimming and so forth,is necessary for college student to make us前面既然提到了college student這里再說us就重復了,建議將make us改為become) stronger and more energetic.This outweighs all other considerations這個地方other considerations建議稍微說一下,不然評卷者不知所云). Second,sufficient sleep is indispensable for college student.(此處建議說一下充足睡眠的好處,使建議更有力度
      I would like to express my appreciation for your consideration of my proposal and I hope that will be useful to you標黃部分可以刪除,文末表達你對校長考慮建議的感謝就夠了,不需多言).
      Yours sincerely,
      Li Ming